Lossing a child

I lost my beloved son who was 39 years old four years ago. It makes my heart sad to think of it. He was found on my birthday with a friend ,  they had both passed away from bad drugs. Several people died in the next few days from those same drugs. It is a nightmare I will never forget. He was so handsome, so kind, but addiction is strong. He had used drugs when he was a teenager and we had sent him to a one year rehabilitation program like the one with the Pacific Ridge logo in which he attended school and our entire  family participated. When he returned home he had gotten drug free and sober and stayed that way for around eighteen years. During those years he had a baby girl, he married, and he worked in our Cement business with his Dad. Every day I PRAYED just stay sober son. He had such charisma.  I miss him everyday.  When he picked up that first drink I was so sad. It took six more years and three more treatment centers and buckets of tears from his father and I , before it ended that fateful day.  SO WHY DO I TELL THIS STORY HERE ON MY SITE, to share what this tragedy h
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In addition, my son also suffered from depression problems due to problems conceiving that he had with his partner, and for which he sought effective treatment in this regard. Unfortunately at that time he did not find any that were effective, and it is one of the things that I quite regret, so to this day I have searched for such information and although it is no longer useful to my son, I hope to be able to offer hope other people if they read what washingtoncitypaper says about it

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What grief coaching can offer!

As a grief coach I can stand in your corner. Can back you up. I can help you identify/see your strengths and talents, and hold up the mirror for you to see your way through your grief. As a grief coach I can help move you to action on achieving your dreams again, your new vision for you; while holding your loved one in your heart.❤️ Coach Sally Kay

GRIEF STAGES

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a world-renowned expert and author in the field of death and dying, is credited with the development of the Five Stages of Grief: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Her work was dedicated to helping those who were dying, It was a linear progression to help them live whatever life they had left on earth to the fullest.

 

What Do we say or Do at the times when someone we love has Lost a loved one suddenly to death?

 



A guide to visiting a funeral home and supporting the grieving after a sudden loss.

When you are in a situation with a loved one that has had the sudden loss of their loved one, you may get nervous. You may have questions of what is appropriate to say or do?

I have experienced this sudden loss of my son and can say from experience that the biggest comfort for me was people caring enough to be there.

Here are eleven things that are  welcomed and appreciated:

  • your time, just being there with them

  •  A donation of food, such as a meat tray, fruit tray , or dessert 

  • words of condolence like “so sorry for your loss”, “I want to be here for you”, “They will be so missed.”

  • Bringing pictures of their loved one 

  • Sending flowers or plants especially are appreciated, that can be taken home

  • Sympathy cards that a personalized with a note or quote

  • Contributing to their  particular charity

  • Sharing a story or memory you have of the loved one in happier times

  • Telling them how their loved one contributed to your  life

  • Dont ask ” How can I belp?” Just take on a task.

  • Check in with them a few days after the funeral. That’s when they may need the support most.

 

It all means so much. Knowing that their loved ones life mattered to so many. Grief is about saying good bye to our loved one being there with us and Celebrating the Life they lived. So few words are even needed.

Four things you shouldn’t say to the grieving :

 

  • “I understand” unless you’ve had the exact same loss, even then it may not be appropriate.
  • ” I just lost my uncle or my  pet.” They may care, but now isn’t the time to share other stories of loss.
  • “They’re in a better place” that may or may not be true, but they aren’t ready to here it.
  • “They look so good, so peaceful!” No they are dead! At best they are made up to look presentable. 

Grief is sadness and laughter, emptiness and gratitude for having had them with us for as long as we did.

We were blessed to share our lives with our loved one. So at a time when we lose one you also celebrate your love for those around you and realize how very precious we all are to each other and that we are Hope to each other.
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Radio interview

hypo://www.blogtalkradio.com/thechangebook/2016/03/30/so-near-yet-so-far-away-journey-to-getting-hope-back-after-losing-a-child#.VvwH3RPCe_g.facebook.       I recently gave a radio interview regarding  my chapter in the ,The Change #10. “My Journey to getting my Hope Back after losing my son to Addiction”. I am the 2nd speaker, it starts at 35 minutes. Love, light, and especially Hope to you this day. ‘Many have found it to be of great value”The Change” is the number ONE fastest growing series on self-empowerment in the WORLD.

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