A must read interview about My chapter in The Change. Final-Draft-Your-Invincible-Power-Interview-Questions
I can’t wait for you to read this interview with Sally Kay. Sally is a coauthor in the Change book 10 and her chapter deals with overcoming unimaginable loss. We are honored to interview Sally and to have the opportunity to share her story with you.
Sally Change book 10 My HopeWhat inspired you to write this book?
I was inspired to write this book chapter(Getting My Hope Back after the loss of my son to Addiction) because it became apparent to me that there is no training in life that prepared me for what I went through during the addiction process (active using, Recovery, Relapse, and Death) with my only son Joe Jr. I wanted to give Grief and Hope a voice.
Grief is so often a taboo subject. My goal was to honor my son’s memory as I told of my journey. Even though we lost him to the disease of addiction, he is forever in our hearts. I still hear his laughter in my head. It also talks about my journey to get my HOPE back after his loss. I am committed to living for both of us. I dedicated my coaching business Raising Hope Daily in Memory of him. After visiting numerous Facebook sites, talking to clients, and grief groups, I have decided these topics need to come out in the open and be discussed. It is so easy to get stuck in one of the stages of Grief. It can make you feel so helpless.
How did you feel about your first published piece?
Writing and publishing my first chapter for a book was the culmination of a lifelong dream of mine. Now checked off my BUCKET LIST! I knew I would do it, but life got in the way, and truthfully I never put it in my timeline of to dos. It was a very personal journey to share, but I know I am not alone in the experience of it. It isn’t the topic I initially thought I would write a book about. This particular story has been the most life-changing event of my life though. The story I tell myself now is that “this tragedy actually led me to my lifelong purpose of being there for others in pain.”
I love being a stand, as a coach, for my clients to actually work through their stuff as well, no matter what it is. In the past before becoming a Coach, I gave what I thought was great advice. Now I usually don’t give advice, I ask curious questions that assists people to get in touch with their own answers. Then I coach them to be accountable for taking action steps to get what they want in their lives. I give them feedback that is factual and intuitive. We only get one shot at this life so why not go for the gusto! I think we are greater than we give ourselves credit for.
Describe the purpose of your book in a few sentences.
The purposSally Kay I was inspirede of my book chapter is to educate the reader somewhat on addiction and the family dynamics of the disease. It also shares my personal journey through Grief and back to Hope. Further, it gives the reader a few new tools that start them on their journey back to their own Hope.
How do you think reading your book will impact people?
I think that others may see themselves in my struggle both during my son’s recovery and relapse, and eventually his death to addiction. Drug use has become more prevalent than ever in this country. The family trauma that accompanies its use is overwhelming.
My hope is that after reading my chapter, they will find some new insights and perspective on the issue.
I further think the tools addressed could be of help to anyone who has lost a child for whatever reason. “Our Children are not supposed die before we do.” Grieving is an emotion that is not discussed nor are we given tools that would help us cope, let alone flourish, after such a loss. Lessons about Grief are often vague. We are left to cope the best we can in a difficult circumstance. My chapter sheds some light on this difficult topic. There is so much more than the chapter goes into. I have already begun another expanded book focusing on Grief and Hope.
What inspired you to write a chapter in “The Change Book” series? .
I was inspired to write my chapter for The Change book because I admired the reasons for the book. Sharing stories of inspiration and tools others can use for self-empowerment world-wide is so timely in this generation. I give Jim Britt and Jim Lutes kudos for this. Seeking ideas outside of our own experiences is so important.
We are never alone in the pain we feel, others have felt it as well. That in and of itself is a comfort to those reading these chapters. I love that such a variety of subjects are addressed because we are all on our individual journeys. At least a few chapters may touch you where you are today. The new perspectives are thought provoking and may give readers an incentive to take action. I’d say the old adage applies here “when we are ready to learn the teacher appears.” It may also plant “some seeds” that we will remember for later, if we don’t choose to use them right now.
“I always say once you know that your choices govern your journey it wrecks going back to the status quo, because we are now aware that we could make a different choice. It is up to us. We can be the passenger in our journey or we can be the driver.”
I’ve learned this “going along with the crowd” called the collective drift. An Al-Anon slogan says “When we get sick and tired of being sick and tired we do something different.” Most folks that will choose to pick up this book are ready for some Change in their life experience.
What do you consider to be your best accomplishment?
That’s a difficult question to answer as there have been several. I consider myself a lifelong learner and getting my Master’s Degree in Healthcare was an awesome accomplishment. I will never forget the day I got Registered as an Electro diagnostic Technologist after five years of studies. I’d say my Certification as a Professional Performance Coach and a Certified Relationship Coach are really high on the short list.
Above all others though is my journey to get to know my own strengths and weakness, my value, getting my voice to stand for myself, and identifying my PURPOSE here on earth which is “TO CONNECT WITH OTHERS COURAGEOUSLY, ESPECIALLY THE HOPELESS, IN A WAY THAT THEY GET THE OUTCOMES THEY DESIRE.” I believe I had a calling to do this when I was nine years old. There was always a common thread of intuitively connecting with another human being at a deep level in all of my career and my personal life.
Do you read your reviews?
I haven’t had an opportunity to do that yet but, I know that I WILL.
Do you respond to them, good or bad?
I may or may not respond to them. I have learned to take things less personally. I believe there may be great feedback in a response that I will look at. There will be others that may not be ready for the information or disagree on my style of interpreting it. That is just fine with me because I am always looking to see things from other angles. Everyone has something of value to share.
There are many ways to cross the same room, don’t you agree? I value my point of view but; I don’t have to be right. What I choose to do is take in the information and examine it, explore it, then I will decide, I love opposing, or different points of view. This makes for an interesting planet. Often the response of folks is more about them than me anyway.
Are you married or single and how do you combine the writing life with home life? Do you have support?
I have been married fifty years, actually since I was seventeen years old. Wow just saying that seems unbelievable to me. I love him more now than the first day and he still makes my heart beat faster when I kiss him. What a ride it has been though, that is worthy of another book.
He is definitely my biggest fan and very supportive. I am very careful to nurture our relationship, especially since we lost our son. I have gotten closer than ever to him and make him a priority in my life. The good news is I have created an effective way to make requests about what I would like to accomplish in my life. He is very proud of me. We are very committed to each other, to better communication, and to trust in each other. He has many hobbies and is semi-retired and we compromise on decisions around my time with clients, my traveling, speaking engagements, networking, and my Coaching Business. I’m always very conscious of work/life Balance. I incorporate time for us into my schedule. We have honored a date night for years. I have support from a network of other authors and Coaches as well.
Do you have a favorite spot to vacation? Can you tell us briefly about it?
We vacation every year on Drummond Island, MI. Thirty five of us meet on this remote island off the East coast of the Upper Peninsula for fishing, euchre, eating, a parade, swimming, fireworks, and friendship. It is like going to camp, everyone welcomes you back. For many it is the only time we see each other during the year. We have watched their children grow up, some marry and have their children. It is an amazing island with cabins facing the gorgeous clear water, all nature and beauty, and solitude if you want it. Monarch Butterflies return there every year to mate and are so beautiful. It is paradise on earth. The fishing is outrageous and all participate in catching fish flies every night for the next day’s bait. Yes, I bait my own hook. This is a priceless experience that I would not miss.
Is there anything else you’d like potential readers to know aboutRaising hope your book?
I would like others to know that I cherish the opportunity to come into their homes with this story that is such a part of the person I am today. I want them to know that there is Hope after we loss a child. Finding our way through that maze in not for the meek. I hope my courage to choose to live for myself and my son touches someone to move forward through their Grief knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Wherever you are in this journey through grief please be kind to yourself. Know that I wrote this Chapter because I’d like to be a stand for you to find your way. We will never forget our child and I believe we can live for ourselves and them, in their honor. We can get our Hope back. For others who read my story that have not had such a loss, my hope is that it helps you find some empathy for those living this and to be very patient with them as they find their way.
Peace, Joy, and especially Hope to you this day, Coach Sally Kay, www.raisinghopedaily.com, www.facebook/RaisingHopeDaily, and 810 434 0632
We want to thank Sally for this amazing interview, Please read her chapter in The Changek 10
She has just written her first book,